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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Walking barefoot through the unkempt grass, high enough to tickle my ankles, though it flattens beneath my feet.
I sit and lean back on my elbows, it feels good to be alone.
They said it would be good to think, try and work things out without the distraction of the world.
I suppose it would, but instead I want to enjoy my thoughtlessness for a moment.
Thoughtlessness doesn't come easily for me, so I close my eyes and try to imagine a different world,
a world with no hardships, no loneliness, no mistakes, no chaos or complications.
The image doesn't come easy, and when it does, I realize that it isn't a place I want to live.
The realization hits me like a ton of bricks.
It's not.
I don't want a life like that.
Problems are part of a life that I love, mistakes make me who I am, the complications always seem to work out in the end.
Everything works out in the end...
I open my eyes and smile, apparently being alone did me more good that I thought.
I pluck a fluffy white dandelion from the ground.
I close my eyes, and for the first time, I don't wish for anything, for something to be over, or something else to begin, instead I thank God for the chaos, the problems and mistakes, because I realize those things are part of a much bigger plan.


"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"
Romans 8:28

***

This started out with that picture of a dandelion, meant to be a photo-inspired, fictional, short story. 
Instead, as I began writing, other things came into my head,  I just kept writing, letting my thoughts take me where they wanted to go.
I ended up learning things that, obviously, I knew in the back of my mind, but that were brought to the surface by simply writing whatever popped into my head.

Please let me know what you think ♥

xoxo
Molly

Monday, September 2, 2013

dreams

So... Based on the title you might think this is gonna be a heartfelt, thought out post about following your ambitions and doing what you love and all that jazz.

Nope. 

On the contrary, this is a post in which I tell you about one of my most recent dreams that was... interesting. {The details of the story are a little fuzzy, this is what I remember of this dream}

So to begin, this dream was set in what I assume was a futuristic dystopian, I was there, and a bunch of people I know were there, including two of my brothers and a guy from my church (We'll get to that later)

In this dream world, we go into an arena and fight monsters, for sport as far as I could tell.
 Except, they weren't like big scary monsters that you fought with weapons. Actually, they were more like Monsters inc type monsters that we fought in hand-to-hand combat.

... Yeah

So stepping back a bit, I mentioned the guy from my church, well I don't really know this guy well, like at all, but my dream-self seemed to have a much bigger crush on him than my real-life self.

See this guy (Let's call him Eduardo, which by the way, is not his name at all) did something - I don't really even remember what and my dream-brother said something along the lines of "When a cute guy does that than you ____" (I don't know what he was telling me to do XD) and I did not, my dream-brother repeated himself and I still did not, now everyone else is staring at me and I got really embarrassed, so naturally, I just ran away. 

I think I went to the bathroom and when I came out, Eduardo was waiting for me, nobody else was there.
He starts flirting and whatnot and we go to the arena, you know, where we fight monsters.

So apparently we do this stuff in teams, and on my team is my other dream-brother and Eduardo. So the monster attacks me first and knocks me down (Apparently I'm not very good at monster fighting) and Eduardo gets really mad and attacks the monster and wins the fight in seconds. So now my dream-self is thinking "So does this mean he likes me?". 

Anyway at some point Eduardo admits to liking me and everybody thinks it's adorable and blah blah blah...
(I know, I'm such a romantic. Really I just don't really remember this part)

After this we all end up in this building, apparently we're the heroes in this dystopian society book and we are trapped. Then there are these holographic monsters that I somehow know each of us has to fight. 

We end up winning because I knew what we had to do. 

I vaguely remember there being more to the dream, but it's all a blur after that so....
That's all folks!!


xoxo
Molly

P.s. Was that really boring or what? XD I just thought you people in the internet-world would like to know what goes on in my brain, I really don't know where that came from.
Also, I told my parents about this dream, but only about, well, what's before the picture. I casually left out the part about Edurado, haha xD

Sunday, September 1, 2013

forget the world



Close my eyes
Put my headphones in 
and forget the world

Let the music be my escape
from life, from the world
stop worrying, start dreaming 

Daydream about things 
that would never happen
Create my own reality

I hear the music,
but not the words

Just me and my thoughts
dreaming words 
no one will ever hear

Allow myself to be alone
forget my problems
live a life
that doesn't exist



forget the world.

hello September








September means cool weather

September means school starting 

September means my brother is coming home

September means birthdays and anniversaries

September means small groups starting at church
and seeing friends I haven't seen in months

September means the start of fall

September means jeans and boots instead of shorts and flip flops

September means the leaves changing, September means beautiful colors all around me.

September means sweatshirt weather

September means reading 

September means busy schedules and less free time

September means bringing us closer to so many things coming this fall.

what does September mean for you?


xoxo
Molly

P.s. I don't know about you but seeing "September" so many times it seriously does not look like a word anymore.

Friday, August 30, 2013

ups & downs {#1}

I've been wanting to do one of these for awhile but I was trying to think of a good name for it, I didn't want to copy anyone (ex: moments, yay & nay, currently, etc.)

So the other day I finally decided on what to call mine :)

up & down
(as in, thumbs up/thumbs down)
(And by the way, I used the "&" sign before it was cool - Hipster Molly)

So anyway, here we go!

---

Thumbs up--
Re-reading Percy Jackson
Having ideas for new posts
I got a new iPod!!!!! *Le happy dance*
Talking to my Amity Happy Bread Buddy on Skype!!
Stealing my brother's clothes when they end up in my room.

Thumbs down--
I only own The Lightning Thief and The Sea of Monsters so I have to wait to read the others
Having no idea if anyone will like my ideas :/
I lost my old iPod, meh.
My AHBB lives 3 states and 16 hours away.
I'll have to give the clothes back when it needs to be washed.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Through my lens {#1}

Sooooo this shall be the first of a (hopefully) weekly "series" of posts in which I throw all (most) of the photos I've taken in the last week in to one post.
I love taking pictures, so I thought it would be fun to share them with you!
So, without further ado, (I love saying that, I feel so fancy) Introducing....


Through my Lens {#1}

***









***

Not too many pictures this week, but I'll have more next week! And since today is Thursday, I'll just post these every Thursday. 
(These aren't technically *all* the pictures I've taken this week, but a lot of them are of family and friends, and I don't want to post those unless I KNOW they'll be OK with it)

Thank you for reading!
Please comment, tell me which one is your favorite! 


xoxo
Molly

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

{Swings} a short story


I run as fast as I can, I know he's faster than me, but I have to beat him, just once. I run towards the tree we have spent hours climbing and swinging, I leap toward a branch and grab it with both hands, swinging forward and backward, like my little victory dance. Apparently the gymnastics classes did pay off.
"I beat you, I beat you, I. BEAT. YOU!" I shouted through my laughter.
"I wasn't even trying!" He shouted back. We were both out of breath, but it didn't matter
"Liar! I'm just faster than you!" I drop to the ground to gloat in his face.
"Whatever. One time! Don't get used to it!" He runs to the swing and jumps on it, almost losing his balance when it swung back and forth.
I grab the rope and pull myself on. We were swinging so high I thought we might touch the sky.
We lose track of how many hours we spend jumping, swinging, running, and climbing, we do this almost everyday until dinnertime. We have forever. 
"Alright kids!" I hear my Momma shouting from the house. "Time to call it a day" 
We both pout, but run to the back door of the house anyway. 
"See ya tomorrow" He says as he starts walking toward his house
"See ya!" My mom smiles and tousles my blonde ponytail, but it doesn't matter, it's already tangled from running around all day.
"You know, love, you might just see that boy differently in a few years" She says, I bet her hand away. "Not a chance" Is my response.

***


It's the same swing I spent hours on as a child, so much about me has changed since then, from my blonde hair giving way to red highlights, to going from dirty clothes to pretty dresses. Spending all day outside to staying in and reading a book. I used to be so adventurous, now change only scares me.
The only thing that's the same is him.
I don't wish it wasn't. But I wish my Momma's words hadn't come true. At only 7 years old I was told that someday my feelings could change. But oh I wish they hadn't. I wish I could look at him and see nothing more than my best friend, because I know that's all he'll ever be, but I can't. I wish I could tell him how I feel, but I can't. I just can't. I'd rather stay alone with my depressing thoughts than risk losing him. I'd give anything to go back to the days we spent together as children.
I block out the thoughts and fly through the air, back and forth, back and forth. I remember it going higher, I remember feeling like I was in charge of the world when I was up that high. 
Or I should say I try and block out the thoughts, but I can't. Yet another thing I can't do. Instead I keep kicking my legs as I left the tears slip down my face, the wind drying my face as I go. The tears sting my eyes as I swing back and forth, but it's a welcome feeling. I never let myself cry. 
It feels good to cry.
It shocks me when he comes through the back door, he's changed as much as I have since we were kids, he's still my best friend, but that's the only thing that hasn't changed.
I brush my hand across my face quickly before letting my bare feet brush against the grass. The swing slows to a stop and I sit there, watching him walk across the yard.
"What are you doing here" I ask when he's close enough to hear me.
"Well you don't sound happy to see me" He teases, I can never get a straight answer from him.
"Of course I am, moron. But some people consider it rude to show up at someone else's house uninvited" I smile, hoping I'm convincing enough.
A smile stretches across his face, and falls almost instantly. Great. He's seen right through me. Always does.
"You've been crying, what's wrong?" His concern is written across his face.
"Nothing" I lie, "I'm fine"
His eyes narrow "You're lying, tell me" I'm not gonna get past him at this point, he won't let it slip now. My eyes swim, how can I tell him? I shake my head, a feeble attempt to get him to back off.
He grabs the ropes above my head and leans close to me "Tell me, now. I'm worried about you. I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other?"
"I've been keeping this a secret for a long time" I whisper, my voice cracking, and turn away from him.
He moves back slightly, I can tell he's hurt, it breaks my heart to see him unhappy.
"Why?"
Just that one word makes the tears pooling in my eyes spill over, and we sit there in silence while tears stream down my face.
"I wish we were kids again" I say. It's all I can choke out.
Though confusion is etched across his face, he attempts a playful smile. He swings himself up and around so he standing behind me on the swing. He kicks hard on the ground and we soar towards the sky and back again. Even in the midst of my tears, I smile. I lean my head back to look at him and he glances down at me, grinning ear to ear. 
"You're right" He says "I really missed this, it's pretty great, huh?" 
"Definitely" I say, still smiling up at him.
I don't know how long we stay like that, swinging back and forth, and I don't care. I just laugh and close my eyes to feel the wind in my face. When the swing slows down again, he hops off and grabs the branch right at eye level, pulling himself up to sit on it. He motions for me to come up with him.
He's so much taller than me, I have to grab a shorter branch and pull myself up to get to the one he's on.
"Remember when we were kids, and this one looked so high up?" I ask when I sit down next to him.
"How could I forget?" He smiles, "Those really were the days"
"No kidding" I say, "Always felt like we could do what ever we wanted"
He puts his arm around me and I stiffen. He pulls his arm back and turns to look at me, I feel my face heating up, and I look away. 
"What is it?" He asks
"Nothing, nothing" I say and force a smile.
He narrows his eyes slightly, as though he's examining my thoughts. He isn't gonna say anything until I explain myself.
"Look" I say finally, staring into my lap "I just... I wish I could just see you as just my best friend again, but... I can't. You're more than that to me and I can't help it." I glance up at him, at first he looks confused, but then understanding spreads across his face and he smiles. 
Then he does something I wouldn't have expected him to do in a million year.
He leans in and touches his lips to mine. Just briefly , and gently, and yet it was perfect, absolutely perfect.
He leans hi forehead against mine with his eyes closed and says "You have absolutely no idea how long I've waited for you to say that"
And I smile, and think this must be what perfect happiness is.

***

Well there you have it. Short story number 3. I decided I didn't really like the last one, but I think this one is pretty cute, what do you think?? Maybe I like more modern things.
Please comment!!! Sorry if I don't respond right away, but it just makes my day when people comment on my blog ♥
Love you all!

xoxo
Molly