The Fault in Our Stars || thoughts

The Fault in Our Stars

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To quote the far beyond flawless Augustus Waters, as of right now, 

"My thoughts are stars that I cannot fathom into constellations"

My thoughts, that is, on The Fault in Our Stars.

This book was beautiful in every possible way, it was a solid book, with a solid ending, that I would be mortified if a sequel was attempted because it would never equate to the masterpiece that is TFiOS.

 A strong book with a solid, good, though certainly not... okay, ending, is hard to find, why all books must be made into sequels, trilogies, or series', I will never understand, for though I do love for the story to go on, to live in my mind, some books can and should be over after that last chapter.

I was aware when, after months of waiting to hold this flawlessness in my hands as my own, that TFiOS would tear my heart out. That it could quite possibly tear it to shreds and stomp on it as I looked on in stunned and dying silence. 

Of course there is no silence after a book like this, perhaps you make no audible sound, but I can hear every tear drop as it drips down my face, and my thoughts are louder than ever.

Sometimes I wonder, why it is that I willingly give my heart out to be marred and given back to me in shreds, why I pick up a book that, though for a moment will provide me with enjoyment, smiles, and thoughtfulness, but knowing full well that in the end, nothing will make sense anymore, including why I took advantage of those few moments of enjoyment to begin with.

It's not like I have not done it before, aware that the end of the book would leave me in nothingness, staring into space with only my thoughts to keep me company, I know that feeling, I know it well, it is one I experience so many days of my life.

And yet, though these moments of emptiness, days of listlessness, they are painful, and yet beautiful, that they are worth it, for the amazing experience it was to spend that time with Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters, that though I am aware, partially, of what became of them, that they life on in my mind, friends, companions, they accompany my many other fictional friends made through experiences such as these. And it's worth it.

It's a strange to think that a feeling such as this is worth the simple pleasure of reading about fictitious characters, but it is, and it always will be, and I'll never stop, it's one of my most worth it, not-so-simple pleasures.

in the end

it's just worth it.  

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xoxo

Molly