You know how sometimes, you're listening to a song, or you hear a phrase, or a voice, and it sends you into the past, a flashback to something it reminds you of?
You think so?
You have no idea.
***
We're sitting in my room, things calm for once, listening to my iPod on shuffle and relaxing for once in our chaos-filled lives. A song comes on, I get a feeling in the back of my mind that I should turn it off, a warning light, I ignore it, we're fine right now, why disrupt the peace?
"Repeating history and you're getting sick of it"
Hmm...
"So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered,
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair"
I see his eyes widen, he jumps to turn it off, but he's too late, my head feels like it's gonna break open, I sit up and almost double over in pain, he catches me, but I've gone stiff, there's nothing he can do now.
***
It's about a year ago, inside I know it is, but it's all the same, I'm back in the past, repeating history. And yes, I'm getting sick of it. There's a different boy sitting next to me, I can see the greedy look in his eyes. At the time, I thought it was for me, I knew I had to get out of there anyway, but I was so wrong, it was so much worse.
It was for money, for the price on my head that at the time I had no idea about.
The scene changes, for half a second I'm back in the present, only because another wave a sharp pain shot through my head, but I'm thrown back to a different place in time.
My hands are tied behind my back, a gag in my mouth, I see the people around me like I'm watching a movie, none of it seems real, but it feels real, as real as it did the first time it happened. The men around me are arguing over whether to use me or kill me, I stopped listening a long time ago, it's too painful.
A hole explodes in the ceiling, 10, 20, 30, and more people rain down around us, the fighting is immediate, I see fists and feet flying all around me, and everyone looks the same, I can't tell who's who, and for a moment, I'm forgotten.
Someone breaks away from the crowd, he's younger than the rest, I know him. He's the boy sitting next to me now, but I knew him then, I didn't know what to think, but I really had no choice.
He cuts the bind on my wrist, then looks at me and puts a finger to his lips, warning me to be quiet, before untying the gag on my mouth.
I stand and look at him, my eyes wide, unsure of what to think, he doesn't waste anytime, he grabs my arm and pulls me around the men fighting until we're right under the hole in the ceiling. A ladder drops down next us and he pushes me toward it.
I feel like I'm in a trance, but I climb the ladder and he jumps on behind me, but I don't look back. A few rungs from the top someone grabs me and pulls me onto the roof, dragging me toward the helicopter waiting not far away. They shove me on board, I see him climb on behind me, I feel lost, scared, and confused, I look at him waiting for any kind of explanation.
The door closes and the helicopter takes off as he collapses on the seat next to me, he looks at me for a few seconds before saying, "Confused?"
I shake my head, "Well you just won the award for understatement of the century, are you gonna tell me what's going on?"
He shakes his head slowly, "Can't. I want to, but I'm not authorized to tell you anything, my dad will"
I don't want to accept that, but I know he won't elaborate so I just sit in silence.
My whole body shudders in pain as the vision fast forwards, I can feel his arms around me, trying to comfort me, but it won't do me any good.
I'm sitting in a building I don't know, next to a boy I thought I knew, facing a man I had no idea about, his father.
"Alright" The man says, "I guess I should explain what's going on"
"Yeah", I agree. "That would be helpful."
"Well I'm not going to sugarcoat this, so let's get the worst out of the way first, there are a lot of people like those, people who either want you, or want you dead"
My whole body shudders, but I don't say anything.
He goes on, "The reason being, that you are... special, your whole family is, and a lot of people know that, you come from a line of people who all possess some kind of power. Some were incredibly useful or incredible, others were seemingly useless, it doesn't matter to these people, they don't want any of you around"
I nod slowly, somehow it doesn't surprise me much, I've lived in foster homes my whole life, my parents died when I was young and no one would tell me how, I've always felt like I was being watched. Apparently I was right.
"What about my sister?" I ask, "How come nobody is after her?"
"They would be," He says "If anyone knew she existed, someone from our business found her years ago, not long after your parents were killed" Killed... figured as much "They rewrote her life, she started going by a different last name, and because she doesn't look much like your parents, nobody could tell who she was. We weren't able to get to you in time"
I knew what he was talking about, the one time me and my twin sister had been separated, we'd been kicked out of one home and on short notice, they couldn't find anyone who would take us both, they put us with different families until they found a better place, it only lasted 48 hours, apparently that was enough time to protect my sister for life.
Maybe I should be jealous, but I just sigh, thankful that my sister was okay, even if I wasn't.
***
The vision ends suddenly, a sob escapes my mouth before I'm even fully conscious and tears stream down my cheeks, he pulls me closer to him and I bury my face into his shoulder, crying into his shirt.
It doesn't last long, it never does, I'm able to pull myself together and stop crying, but my whole body is shaking.
"It's okay," He says, "It's over."
"No." I say shaking my head, "It'll never be over, there'll always be a price on my head, I'll always have these stupid flashbacks, and there'll always be people who want to kill me, how is that okay!?" My voice rose more and more as I spoke, I was shouting by the last word, but his face didn't change, he watched me calmly until I was finished, then put his hand on my leg gently. That was all it took, I snapped out my trance and collapsed into his arms.
"Sorry." I muttered quietly.
"Don't be." He said back.
***
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xoxo
Molly