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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

"I don't belong here"

Via

I couldn't take this anymore. I didn't know what to do, I felt completely helpless.
So I did the only thing that made any sense to me, I ran.
I was barefoot, running through the forest, pebbles shifting and twigs snapping beneath my feet, I didn't know where I was going, it didn't matter, I ran to feel the breeze in my face, my mind was empty as the cool air cleared my thoughts. I just let my feet take me wherever they wanted to go.
I broke through the trees to the place that in the back of my mind, I had known I would end up. The sound of rushing water helps me clear my head. I slowed down and walked across the stream. It seemed at this point that putting one foot in front of the other was all I could do anymore. I simply stared at my bare feet as I made my way to the place that I had started to call "our spot". It probably always would be.
I sat at the base of the tree that I had sat under more times than I could count just in the last month. How had I not thought I would come here? It's where I always end up, whether I'm happy or sad, confused or ecstatic. It's almost like home. The home of my heart.
After what felt like hours of silence, I dropped my face to my knees and cried. It actually felt good to cry. Just let the tears flow and not worry about what anyone thought about it. I was alone, letting the tears slip down my cheeks without thought.
I should have known I wouldn't be alone for long.
I heard him sit down next to me, though I didn't look up or open my eyes. I knew it was him, no one else would have followed me, especially here.
I let him wrap his arms around me, I expected him to talk, but he didn't say a word. We sat in silence, which really was so much better.
Who knows how long it was before the tears stopped and my breath slowed. It could have been hours, days, years, or possibly only a few moments. At that point I thought I should say something to him.
I didn't want to say it, but it would be easier than any attempt to work my way up to it, The thing I least wanted to say to him slipped out of my mouth before anything else.
"I don't belong here" I whispered, barely audible over the sound of the stream, but I knew he heard me.
"You're right, you don't" Was all he said.
"I just feel so out of place here. Everything is so plain. So simple, it's all decided. I don't know what I want do with my life, but I know what I have to. I don't have a choice. Everyone here is just another face in the crowd. I'm tired of it" It all came rushing out in one breath, The words that had captured my thoughts for days.
"I know. You're not like everyone else here. You belong somewhere else entirely. You should be somewhere else"
Had I heard him right, could he possibly be agreeing with me?
"Are you encouraging me to leave?" I asked, finally opening my eyes and looking up at him.
He looked at me and smiled. "Yes I am. To leave here, but not to leave me. I'm coming with you"
I was shocked, I couldn't believe he'd ever want to leave his home, for me. I didn't understand.
"You can't leave" was all I could say, I was at a loss for words.
"Of course I can, I'm not letting you go alone, and it's not like you can stop me."
He was right, I knew that. If I left, he would follow me, no matter how hard I tried to keep him here. I couldn't let him do that.
"Never mind. I could fit in here" lies.
"No you couldn't. You know that as well as I do. You're different, you stick out, everyone knows that, you are a loner around here, and I think that might be why I love you"
I blinked. I hadn't been prepared for that.
He smiled, that was exactly what he had been going for. He leaned his forehead against mine and repeated "I love you"
And in that moment, every thought I had about leaving him here evaporated, we could go, escape, together. 
For the first time in months, I smiled.
"I love you too."
His face lit up, "Then let's get out of here"
He stood up and pulled me to my feet.
And we did just that.

***

Short story number 2! I'm not really sure what I thought of this, I just had an idea and it all came out at once. I don't know, it's not great, but it's not bad I suppose.
Let me know what you think!

(I already have a post planned for tomorrow, I actually feel like I'm on top of this blogging thing :P)



2 comments:

  1. *hugs self as squeals escape my lips*

    This was utterly adorable. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, thanks!! I was just considering deleting it when you commented, I feel like it's just like everything else everyone writes. But I'm glad you liked it!

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