Sunday, September 15, 2013


Sometimes I wonder who my real friends are... 

I know that sounds totally cliche, but honestly, one minute you blow me off and act like you're so much better than me
The next we run around and dance and laugh like we never stopped being best friends.
I mean, is my best friend the girl I've known since I was 5 and have called my best friend since then? Would she even say the same thing about me?
I have a lot of friends, and up until a few months ago, I thought I knew who my best friend was.
Now I don't have a clue.
There are people I've known for as long as I can remember and I know we're friends, even if not close friends.
Then there are people who I have called my best friends for years, and sometimes I wonder if they'd even mention me if they were talking about their friends.
And the worst part, is I couldn't say this to any of them.
I'm too worried about hurting people's feelings, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, and I can't stand confronting anyone.
All my thoughts stay in my head.
I know I should stop, because I know I can't just push the thoughts away, 
I can hide them, and push them to the back of my mind, I can put up a wall to block them, but they don't go away.
They stay there, hidden in the back of my mind until it becomes so strong, that wall can't hold it anymore.
They come back, and with a vengeance. 
It's all even worse when it comes back, I end up bursting out in tears or blowing up in someone's face.
I hate it 
but somehow I can't bring myself to stop doing it.

can any of you relate to this?


p.s. I know this probably stinks, It's 10 PM and I realized I hadn't posted anything :/


  1. I just want to hug you right now. I am going through the same exact thing. Even the one person I thought would always be by my side has been acting rude and distant. It hurts like no other pain I have experienced.

    Get ready for a visit from me, alright? I'm flying up to bring you Oreos and a Tangled DVD so we can laugh and cry our hearts put together as we stuff our faces with sugar. That is most certainly the best thing in life. I'm fairly certain those Oreos contain the same serum as happy bread but you will never see me complaining.

    1. Totally understand what you mean, it hurts so bad.

      Heather, I love you to death, you never fail to make me smile, lets stuff our faces with chocolatey goodness <3 :D

  2. Awh hun. *Hugs* I totally know what you're going throw at the moment. I'm going through a similar things at the moment... although not as serious, i don't think, since those people weren't exactly my best friends. Its horrible that people you think you know so well seem to change so much. People you thought you'd know forever that suddenly becoming strangers... its really horrible. Will keep you in my prayers :) And remember, you always have your cybertwin to talk to! :) xx

    1. Yeah... It just seems so wrong, to me they're still my best friends, but what do the think? Thank you so much Hope, I love talking to you :)


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