Sometimes I wonder who my real friends are...
I know that sounds totally cliche, but honestly, one minute you blow me off and act like you're so much better than me
The next we run around and dance and laugh like we never stopped being best friends.
I mean, is my best friend the girl I've known since I was 5 and have called my best friend since then? Would she even say the same thing about me?
I have a lot of friends, and up until a few months ago, I thought I knew who my best friend was.
Now I don't have a clue.
There are people I've known for as long as I can remember and I know we're friends, even if not close friends.
Then there are people who I have called my best friends for years, and sometimes I wonder if they'd even mention me if they were talking about their friends.
And the worst part, is I couldn't say this to any of them.
I'm too worried about hurting people's feelings, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, and I can't stand confronting anyone.
All my thoughts stay in my head.
I know I should stop, because I know I can't just push the thoughts away,
I can hide them, and push them to the back of my mind, I can put up a wall to block them, but they don't go away.
They stay there, hidden in the back of my mind until it becomes so strong, that wall can't hold it anymore.
They come back, and with a vengeance.
It's all even worse when it comes back, I end up bursting out in tears or blowing up in someone's face.
I hate it
but somehow I can't bring myself to stop doing it.
can any of you relate to this?
p.s. I know this probably stinks, It's 10 PM and I realized I hadn't posted anything :/